Y’all ready for another romp through the brilliant randomness?! Here’s 10 more factoids and revelations.
11) Holy crap! I used to laugh at my mother so very much when she’d moan and groan trying to get up off the floor. But karma is definitely a bitch because now I’m the one having to roll over and get up like a damn toddler, while my joints sound like someone popping bubble wrap and snapping twigs at the same time.
12) I don’t think Scared Straight should work on adults…but it so does. I watched that show probably twice and know that if I ever went to jail or prison, I wouldn’t make it.
13) My oldest sister (not the mean one) once told me that my dad really wished I was a boy and that really hurt my feelings! So, maybe she is the mean one.
14) ‘Til the day I die, I’ll never forget the knock off Cabbage Patch doll I got for Christmas one year. It was horrifying to look at. Horrifying! Thinking back, I understand that my parents had three girls to get gifts for and Cabbage Patch dolls weren’t cheap. But sweet baby Jesus I can still see that hideous thing in my head!
15) A few Christmases later, my parents more than made up for it when they got me an electric typewriter! Damn, I just dated the hell out of myself. I remember sitting in the back room at the little desk my parents set up for me and typing my little heart out.
16) I once knocked a paralyzed man out of his wheelchair. It was totally by accident and he was a really great sport about it.
17) ‘Til I was about 14, I thought babies came out of a woman’s butt.
18) By the time I saw my sister give birth, I knew better, but it was still no less traumatizing. Nobody warned me about the smells!
19) I believe that watching the Investigation Discovery channel will make you paranoid and suspicious that everyone is trying to murder you.
20) The glee and anticipation I used to feel about going out and partying is now how I feel about going home and lying on my couch. And if I do decide to crawl my ass off the couch and go out, things better get cracking early, ‘cuz my body starts shutting down at 11 o’clock. Mama needs her sleep.
I have so many other random things to share, but I’ll save them for another time. Don’t be a stranger!